How to Mentally Prepare for any Holiday when Going Through Infertility

As Fall approaches it’s fair to say that with it brings those activities that are centered around family. There are Pumpkin patches, Apple Picking, and Halloween. There is no denying that these activities can feel so centered around children.

Children can be so triggering when you are struggling to build your family, or you have experienced pregnancy loss.

And when your social media feed blows up with all the experiences that your friends and family may be sharing it can be a vicious cycle of grief for the annual rituals, you’re not able to participate in again with your own little pumpkin or Buzz Lightyear.

Fall is also the start of the holiday season, at least in the United States. After Diwali and Halloween, it’s the countdown to Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and then Christmas and Kwanza. Holidays often entail family gatherings, the usual catchups, probing questions, and also, children.

So, this post is going to be about how to mentally prepare for the upcoming holidays, so that you can best manage your mental health at a moment during your family-building journey when there can be more triggers than usual.

Pre-holiday: Consistently check in with yourself

So I want you to take a real good look at where you are today. Ask yourself “how am I doing?”

Keep checking in with yourself as you get closer to the holiday and think about what you might need for that day to best cope with any emotions you might feel that rise to the surface.

Plan your coping strategies

Some people might want to just stay home and engage with their community.

Other people might want to turn the lights off and not participate.

And some might want to just leave their house and physically get away.

Take some time to think about what's going to be best for you.

If one of the things you know will happen is probing questions or insensitive comments from family or friends, we have some helpful tips in this blog article.

There are plenty more holidays that are coming up, and this always is a very complicated time for anyone who's family building.

If you are finding yourself overwhelmed by the thought of holidays, lay it all out anonymously through our Dear Linda page. It’s a safe space where we answer your dilemmas “Dear Abby” style.