How to Redefine What a Mother, Father, or Parent is to You
If you’re struggling with infertility, the words “mother”, “father”, or “parent” may feel confusing or even heavy for you. However, you can redefine what these words, titles, and roles mean to you. By doing so, you can help redefine your journey and discover your powerful identity outside of traditional parenthood.
According to the dictionary a parent is…
N: a father or mother.
V: be or act as a parent to (a child).
Now I have a quick exercise for you. Grab your journal and find a quiet space to think and write
Journaling Prompts for Infertility Healing
What does each of those words mean to you?
Does it mean pregnancy, genetics, caretaking, or the placer of Band-Aids on boo-boos? We know family structures can vary, just like family building steps.
Next questions:
What do you feel when you think of a mother, father, or parent?
When you think of yourself there do you feel warmth, caring, trust, support, and unconditional love?
It is important to make space for your loss – you are allowed to grieve because you did not get to build your family in the way you intended while still continuing to work toward having a child. On the other hand, I also need you to make room for your own definitions. Try to separate your grief from your belief system. And yes, this may look different than the person next to you.
The word mother, father, or parent does not have to be a definition you were told. It can be one created. Allow your new definition to start somewhere and grow. Don’t be alarmed if you must come back to this question time and time again. Let the definition evolve over time and uniquely to your own family.
You don’t have to fit into society’s cookie-cutter definition of “family.” You don’t have to look like the other families on Instagram. You can redefine and create what family means to you, and it can be beautiful and fulfilling in its own way.
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