Tips for Managing the Financial and Relationship Stress of Fertility Treatment
The emotional bill infertility charges you can be astronomical –– from trauma, grief, loss, to even anxiety and depression, infertility can take a toll on your emotional, mental, and relationship bank account. And on top of this, fertility treatment can leave just as large of a literal bill and hole in your bank account.
The financial burden of fertility cannot be completely eliminated, but healthy communication between you and your partner can significantly reduce the stress.
If you are partnered, there is no way you’re going to get through fertility treatment with our talking about finances. This can often be a difficult topic for couples because we were all raised in different families that viewed and treated money differently.
First, take some time to ask yourself these questions and share your responses.
Financial Questions to Discuss with Your Partner to Help You Work Together
What was your relationship with finances growing up?
How did that make an impression on your relationship with money as an adult?
Do you currently use money for emotional management. i.e. splurge, save for a rainy day, etc.
What do you value and how does that influence what you spend or don’t spend?
Next…
Make a Habit of Money Talk
Start slow, pick your least stressful day, and sit down to start the money talks.
Use the time to identify your current budget, money coming in, and money going out.
If you agree on moving forward with fertility treatment, agree to have financial check-ins as treatment progresses. Make it a set weekly, biweekly, or monthly chat, depending on the state of your finances.
If you find yourself defensive or hurt during the conversation, go back to your relationship with money history and start making connections.
Watch out for….
Assumptions - Assuming your partner’s financial stress and fear means that they are not invested in family building, and it is, therefore, a rejection of your emotional state.
Avoidance - If you are avoiding any of the practices above, keep taking small steps towards them. Even if the conversation is talking about those fears.
Be clear and say, “I’m avoiding talking about our finances because…”
Build Your Support Team
Explore grants, different center’scenter programs, and payment plans.
If you consult with your insurance company and feel confused, take care of yourself, and call back for clarification when you have the bandwidth.
Is there anyone who can help you financially? If yes, are you open to asking for help? If you take gifted money, please discuss boundaries. Your boundaries still need to be respected.
All in all, money conversations should not be avoided, no matter how stressed or uncomfortable they make you. In the end, these essential conversations can help you feel less stressed and more confident in your decisions moving forward as a couple. Remember –– you’re a team.
If you’re looking for any more tips and community, our Facebook Group, Instagram, and Pinterest are here to help you through your journey.